Identity Crisis

There is no question that I have endured my share of stress this year. After being told that my husband had pancreatic cancer on April 4th, 2011 my entire life changed in a matter of seconds. I knew immediately that our life as we knew it, would no longer ever be the same.

Learning about this horrible diagnosis and prognosis that comes along with it, was enough to transform my whole outlook on life. The things that I thought were once important, like my career as a practice administrator, seemed secondary and unimportant to everything else going on. To go on record, it was the first time in my adult life that I put my life and family in front of my career. You could say that my priorities were all f’d up.

In life we all have to make choices. Sometimes our choices are right on and other times we regret and learn from those mistakes. I know for certain that I have no regrets about my choice to be with my husband every step of the way as he battles this disease and crushes every prognosis statistic ever documented. He will be the man who will make history and ruin the curve because he is at the top of his class.

Thinking back on how two individuals had the nerve to challenge or question my decision to go to Baltimore and leave my career just infuriates me. Not to mention the emotional turmoil it created in my life up until the last hour before my departure. I know for a fact that these individuals would have done the exact same thing as I did- no questions asked. I believe they thought that my life was somehow less important than theirs or something like that. You know who you are if you ever stumble upon this blog- so shame on you! I still need to work on coming to terms with the anger element in that scenario.

I would be lying if I said it wasn’t difficult saying goodbye to my job, healthy paycheck and benefits. It was like I lost my identity because I no longer had an impressive title attached to my name and nowhere to go from Monday to Friday. As I reflect back on the earlier months when I was feeling down about leaving my job, I just laugh at myself now. I learned that I was stagnant in my career anyways, and not utilizing the skills and MBA that I had earned and worked so hard to acquire.

I have had the time to really think about what my next career adventure will be and soon I will be sharing those thoughts with all of you. I know for certain that whatever I decide to do, I will make a difference in this world and help people who want to be helped and that money is not everything!  First and foremost it will have absolutely nothing to do with babysitting adults. Been there, done that and will never do that again. It was a thankless career choice and I will use extreme caution selecting my so-called second home.

It goes to show you that what appeared to be the worst poker hand dealt turned out to be a royal flush. You never know what life is going to throw at you so try to make the best out of it even if the circumstances suck. Open your heart and eyes to the new doors and opportunities that will eventually come your way.

I would love to read what you have to say about my identity crisis. Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever put your job before family and friends? Feel free to even disagree with my choices.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend filled with fun activities. See you all next week.